Dear Feminism, I failed and I’m sorry

Dear Feminisim,

Yesterday I was at the post office waiting for a package. There were two other people in line with me; a woman in front¬†of me who was about 30 ¬†dressed in sweats, and a man behind me who I would guess was about 40 and looked like he was coming from work. After about 10 minutes, the clerk finally came out and told the lady in front of me that he couldn’t find her package. He had photocopied the tracking slip and was taking down her name and phone number so that they could call her when they found the package.

He left to go have one more look in the back to see if he could find it. She apologized to the other man and me for it taking so long. I told her that it wasn’t her fault, but she said she apologized anyway. Then the man behind me chimes in, “Now that we (meaning he and I) have your number, is it alright if we call you?” She turned toward the counter, embarrassed, waiting for the clerk to come back.

I felt the words sting in my soul. What a rude thing to say. I failed, because I heard this comment and kept my mouth shut. I have written him a little letter of what I would have liked to say to him below.

Dear asshole Sir,

Fuck you. I just want to let you know that what you said is inappropriate. Asking a woman for her number that you are dating consensually is totally fine, but insinuating that you’ve taken a woman’s number when she was giving it for some other purpose is just plain wrong.

I wish that you would be deported to the moon would learn to respect women. I do not approve of what you said, and I feel like someone should correct you.

Screw you cordially, Yours cordially,

–Matt Farah

So, for this, Feminism, I apologize, and I hope that I can do better next time.

Yours cordially,

–Matt Farah


50 Shades of Pepperoni

Little Caesars Pizza Truck







[Image via jeepersmedia]

The other day, I was a Little Caesars Pizza. For those of you who have not been to a Little Caesars, imagine a crappy pizza place that’s cheap; there you go. I walked into the store and retrieved my delicious pepperoni pizza with the Crazy Crust (TM). Always get the Crazy Crust(TM).

On my way out, I spotted a woman in an ancient gold Dodge Durango happily enjoying an audio book. I soon realized that the audio book which was loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear was 50 Shades of Gray. Upon entering my car, I burst out laughing. I understand listening to this audiobook in the car, but with the windows down. REALLY?